


I am Ethan

by LocalTrashCanTM



Category: youtube - Fandom
Genre: #crankgameplays #crankiplier #love #markiplier #trans #transboy #youtube, Completed, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-02-28 05:08:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 20,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13264344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LocalTrashCanTM/pseuds/LocalTrashCanTM
Summary: Ok so I've wanted to do a trans story and since there aren't a lot of crankiplier stories I'm using crankiplier.





	1. Why

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning

Why me? Why this body? I didn't ask to be born a girl. I just want to be who I really am. I don't want this body. Why can't my parents just understand I'm not their little girl? I'm their son. What am I going to do? Every time I correct them for calling me her they hit me. It's getting worse too! It's not just a slap to the arm it's now a slap in the face, or a punch, or a kick in the stomach. I'm afraid it's only gonna get worse. Hell, even school is getting worse. People are staring to make fun of me for my bruises. When was abuse ever funny? I wish I could just throw everyone off a god damn cliff. In other news, I'm getting a binder! My aunt, who actually accepts me, is getting me one! She even offered to get me testosterone! I'm trying to convince mom and dad to let me live with her. Maybe if I can come up with a good excuse I can live with her. Anyway, she's taking me binder shopping tomorrow and I'm so excited! Maybe I can also get me some clothes that aren't feminine or I can get a haircut! That would be awesome. I hate my long hair. AND MAYBE I COULD GET IT DYED BLUE! NOW THAT WOULD BE AWESOME! Hopefully everything will go well. Ugh! I have to go to school ,hell, now. Well I guess that's it for now. Goodbye journal.


	2. Shopping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight Trigger Warning

I was excited. My parents gave me $20 and told me to leave. Now even though they were rude, I still got my mom to get a haircut. My aunt was coming to get me in 5 minutes. I wore my baggiest shirt and basketball shorts. I put my hair up in a hat and hoped I looked a little bit boyish. I then put on my pair of ass ass sun shades and waited for my aunt. When I saw her pull up I started to bounce with excitement. "Well look at that handsome fellow," she said referring to me. I wanted to cry. She is the only person that uses my preferred pronouns and I was so happy. I ran to give her a hug. "Hey aunt cas!" I said. "Hey Ethan," she said using my preferred name. "Ready?" she asked. I nodded and got into the front of her car. "Hey aunt cas. Can I also get a haircut today? I have some money so that might help." I asked. "Honey don't you worry about money. Today is all about you so whatever you want you'll get. Now shush this is my song," she said while turning up the radio. Aunt Cas has never been able to have kids. She tried three times, but each time she had a miscarriage so she gave up. She treats me as if I'm her own child and I love it. I wish I was her child. "So what do you want to do first? Get clothes , binder, haircut? What?" "Hair cut!" I said. We went to my aunts hairstylist Peggy. When we entered, aunt Cas was tackled into a hug. I stepped back in fear that the person would tackle me. "CASSY!" The person screamed. Once they let go of my aunt I realized it was just Peggy. "Pegs! How are you?" My aunt asked. "I'm good. What can I do for you today? A trim, dye, new style, what?" Peggy asked excitedly. "Actually," aunt Cas said walking towards me," my nephew Ethan wants a haircut and for it to be dyed. Think you can handle that Pegs?" My aunt asked while smirking. "Please," Peggy responded," a toddler could do that. Come on Ethan." I walked over to one of the barber chairs. "Darling," Peggy said," you're gonna have to take the hat off." I slowly took off my hat and let my hair fall. Peggy didn't say anything about the length. "How short?" She asked. "Past the ears and shaves on the sides." I responded. She the started to cut it. In 15 or so minutes my hair went from past my shoulders to the way I wanted it. I loved it. "Know what color do you want it dyed?" She asked. "Bright blue," I responded. She then dyed my hair. I was in love with my hair. Once she finished, I gave her a big hug. "Thank you!" I said. She hugged back. "Alright Pegs how much?" Aunt Cas asked. "On the house," she responded. My mouth dropped. "Why," I asked. "Because," she started,"I'm trans too." I gasped. I would've never guessed. "In fact," she continued," your aunt was the first person I ever told. Now have a good day Ethan." And with that we left. We then went shopping for a binder my size. We found one and then went and bought me some guy clothes. We even got some fashion advice from one of the store clerks who said that I looked good in the color blue. We then got some testosterone. I would start taking it tomorrow, but I was so happy. However, happiness is often short lived. When we arrived home, mom and dad were outside and they looked pissed. "Cas where the hell have you too been!" My dad screamed at aunt Cas. "Shopping David." She responded annoyed. "Well where's Elizabeth?" Mom asked. I cringed at my birth name. I hadn't left the car yet due to fear. "Who's Elizabeth?" Aunt Cas asked. "No aunt Cas!" I thought. I didn't want her to get in trouble for me. "Cas did you lose our daughter!?" My dad yelled. "No cause you don't have a daughter!" Cas yelled back louder. "You have a son you fucking idiots!!" My dad tried to swing a punch at her, but aunt cas caught it. I then quickly got out of the car in between the two. "Aunt Cas! Dad! Stop it!" I yelled. My father turned towards me and looked horrified. "What the hell did you do to yourself?!" He asked angrily. I gulped and stood straight up. I wasn't going to put up with their bull shit. "I got a haircut," I said anger lacing my words. "NO SHIT!" My dad yelled. "Honey why? You're long hair looked so good on you." My mom said too calmly. "Because I'm a boy! And I wanted short hair mom! I hated my long hair!" With that my dad tried to punch me, bit before he could aunt Cas grabbed me. She dragged me to her car and drove away. "Ethan, how long have they been abusing you?" I was silent.


	3. Will I be ok?

I didn't want to tell aunt Cas. I would have rather mom and dad hit me. If I told aunt Cas then she would have to take care of me and even though I do want to live with her, I'm afraid I'll become a burden. "Ethan," she put her hand on my shoulder. "How long?" I sighed. "Since last year." I said looking at the floor. "Honey," she wrapped me in a hug. I began to cry. "I th-thought I could h-handle it. I d-didn't w-want to be a b-b-burden aunt Cas." I said crying in to her shoulder. "Shh. Shh. It's ok Ethan. But you should have told me. You aren't a burden and your parents shouldn't have abused you. You are 15. You should know that your parents shouldn't hit you." We sat there for 10 more minutes before I calmed down a bit. Aunt Cas started the car and began to drive. "Aunt Cas?" "Hmm," she responded. "Where are we going?" "Police station." I froze. "W-why?" "Because your parents don't have a right to hit you, they deserve to be locked up." She said while gripping the steering wheel so tight her knuckles where white. "But their my parents. They shouldn't be pu-" "Ethan," aunt Cas interrupted,"they might at one point have been good parents, but now they aren't. And I'm afraid that if you stay there you will get hurt or worse! I don't want you to get hurt. Ethan I love you as if you were my own child. Seeing David and Rachel hit you makes me so pissed! If David punched me I would have been ok, but trying to hit his own kid! That's not ok! I'm sorry Ethan but either we let the police handle it or I will, and if I have to I'll be the one in jail for murder." I just nodded my head. I don't want my parents to go to jail. Sure they hit me, but if their in jail I'll have to move schools and I just sorta started transitioning. But wait, maybe this won't be so bad? I mean no one there will know me so maybe it's actually a good thing. Whatever happens though, I hope that I don't have to go through hell again. We arrived at the police station and o had to tell them what was going on. They said that DHS will have to talk to me and my parents, but that I would have to live with my aunt just in case they really were abusing me. So, I went to aunt Cas' house. I was excited and scared. What it would my new school be like? When would i start? Would everyone be homophobic? Would aunt Cas be ok with taking me in? I had too many questions and so little answers.


	4. New life

It's been a week since I started living with aunt Cas. It's not bad. Aunt Cas is more like a big sister than a mom to me. She's really laid back, but can get serious when needed. She's been helping me with taking my testosterone and helping me safely bind. I really appreciate her and all she does. She always makes sure I'm ok. Unfortunately, I have to start school tomorrow and I'm extremely nervous. I don't know anything about my new school. All I know is that it's a pretty big and rich school. It gets a lot of funding for some reason. I'm afraid that since it's so rich there won't be any other LGBT people. Aunt Cas keeps trying to reassure me, but I'm too nervous. Today we went shopping and got me some school supplies. I even got some new blue high top converses. I really like the color blue now. I even got a blue backpack. Aunt Cas says I have an addiction, but I pointed out most of her decor in her house is purple and she told me to shut up. I love aunt Cas. I really do. She's so nice. She could've just sent me to foster care, but no she decided to let me live with her. Aunt Cas called me down to the living room so I quickly went. Once I saw her she was holding something. "Aunt Cas what's that?" I asked. "Your school schedule, but that's not what I wanted to talk about." I walked over to her and sat beside her on the purple couch. "Your birthday is coming up, but I don't be here due to work." Aunt Cas is an author of a series of books that I actually have never read. They are very popular so she has to do a lot of book signings. "It's ok aunt Cas." I said. She smiled. "Well what would you like for your birthday?" She asked. "Can I have an iPhone?" I asked. My parents never wanted me to have one because they thought that cell phones were satanic. "Of course!" She said and rustled my hair. "Hey quit!" I laughed and tried to fix my hair. "Alright well it's 10:00 so you should go to bed. You got a big day tomorrow." She said. I gave her a good night hug and ran upstairs. I didn't go to sleep until 1 am due to anxiety. I really hope that I'll at least have one friend.


	5. First day of school

I woke up to my alarm clock blaring in my ear. I groggily got out of bed. My anxiety kicked in as soon as I got out of bed. I walked over to my closet. I pulled out my binder, a blue shirt, and a pair of black skinny jeans. I called aunt Cas to my room so she can help me put on my binder correctly. Once she helped me, I put on my blue shirt and my skinny jeans. I put on some grey socks and put on my shoes. I ran down stairs to get me some breakfast. When I first started to eat breakfast here aunt Cas forgot I was allergic to peanuts and almost gave me something with peanuts in it. Lucky I noticed the peanuts and threw it away. Luckily aunt Cas knows now. Anyway, when I entered aunt Cas had made me waffles. "Eat up," she said grabbing us plates. I ate 3 waffles before I had to leave the house. I grabbed my pack back and was about to head out the door before aunt Cas reminded me to take my testosterone. I quickly did that and got into her chevy impala. As we were riding we started to sing along to the radio. When we pulled up into the parking lot of the school, a wave of anxiety hit me. Before I could panic though, aunt Cas laid a hand in my shoulder. "No one here knows you're trans so you can have a fresh start. I told them your preferred name and pronouns so don't worry about being misgendered." I gave her a small smile before heading into the building. As soon as I stepped into the building, I wanted to leave. The hallway was filled with people. My anxiety kicked in again and I ducked my head. I headed up to the office to get a map of the school and a handbook. When I entered the office, I saw a guy with green hair. "At least I'm not the only one with crazy hair." I thought. I didn't know where the secretary's office was so I decided to ask the green haired boy. I went up to him and tapped on his shoulder. "Pardon me, do you know where the secretary's office is?" He turned around and I was surprised. He had extremely pale skin and shimmering blue eyes. "Oh she's not here today. Are you Ethan?" He asked. His accent sounded Irish so I assumed he was. I nodded. He smiled,"Great! I'm going to show you around school since she's not here! Here's all the papers you need and follow me. Oh! The names Sean, but people call me Jack." He said. "Oh well I've to meet you jack." I said while putting the papers in my backpack. "So follow me and I'll show you around." I followed him. We went to all my classrooms and he showed me where the library, gym, and cafeteria where. It turns out we had English and math together so that was good. "Now I'd like to introduce you to my friends Felix and Mark." I followed him go two boys standing by the lockers. I only saw the face of one of them. He had blue eyes like jack's and bleach blonde hair. He also had a beard growing. The other person I couldn't see, but I knew he had red hair. (A/N sorry but I like when mark had red hair.) "Yo Mark! Felix!" When jack yelled their names they faced him. When the guy with read hair looked at me, I lost my breathe. He was stunning. He had sun kissed skin, dark chocolate eyes, and a beautiful smile. "Hey Jack! Who's that?" The blonde hair guy asked. "I'm glad you asked!" Jack put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me towards the two. "This here is Ethan. Ethan this is Felix," he motioned towards the blonde," and that's Mark!" He said pointing towards the gorgeous guy. "Hey," I said a little awkwardly. "How's of goin bro?" Asked Felix. "Eh pretty good I guess." I answered. "So are you new here?" Mark asked. "Yeah it's my first day." "So why are you coming to school here?" Jack asked. I stiffened. "I don't want to talk about it," I said looking at the ground. "What did you do? Kill a kid or something," Mark said to lighten the mood. Everyone but me laughed. The bell thankfully rung and I headed off to biology. I didn't notice but Mark followed me to that class. When I sat down, he stood next to me. "Hey uh Ethan is it?" I turned to him. "I'm sorry if we made you uncomfortable back there. We didn't mean to make you like that." He said looking me in the eyes. I could stare at his eyes forever. "Uh it's ok. I just don't feel comfortable explaining why I have to go to this school." I said while tearing away my gaze. "It's ok. Wanna sit with us at lunch and meet our other friends? They are really cool trust me. I should know since they get to hang out with the amazing moi." He said in an awful french accent. I laughed at it and he smiled. Soon the bell rung and he had to leave. Now I can't wait for lunch.


	6. Lunch

After biology, I went to digital media and history before I went to lunch. When I entered the cafeteria, I got nervous. "What if his friends are homophobic?" Was my recurring thought throughout the day. Luckily after lunch I only had three more classes before I got to go home. I spotted Jack's green hair so I went over to him. I saw him and Felix sitting there talking. "Hey jack! Hey Felix!" I said as I sat down. "Hey Ethan!" Jack said while giving me a high five. "Sup bro," Felix said while giving me a fist bump. We then got into a discussion about video games. "I like any type of horror game," Felix said. "I like happy wheels!" Jack said. "Wait we talking about video games?" Asked Mark. I turned toward him and gave him a small smile. He returned it with an even bigger smile. Soon there were 2 girls and  3 more guys at the table. "I say we introduce ourselves to Ethan." Said jack. "I'll start," said the blonde hair girl. "Hi! I'll Amy! But my friends call me pebbles! Ok so you next!" She said hitting the girl next to her. "Hey I'm Katherine. I'm dating Amy here so don't get any ideas." I looked at her worn shock. "What?" She asked. Then the whole atmosphere changed. "Ethan... are you... homophobic?" Jack asked me. Him and a few others at the table looked terrified. "Of course not! If I were homophobic then I would hate myself!" I said. Some people laughed at that and others just smiled in relief. "No I'm actually gay myself so don't worry about me being homophobic." "Well let's continue with introductions," Mark said. "Hey I'm Bob." Said one of the guys. "And I'm wade." Said the boy sitting next to Bob. They were both tall and wade was skinny while bob wasn't. "Hey I'm Tyler!" Said the boy with brown curly hair in a grey beanie. "Well nice to meet all of you. Ethan." I said waving. We began to talk about everyone's sexuality. "Me and Bob here are the only straight people, but we're allies." Wade said. "Well as you already know me and Kat are dating, but I'm pansexual." Amy told me. "I'm gay," said Kat. "Jack and I are dating," Felix told me," and I'm bisexual." I turned to Jack to hear what he was going to say. He had a mischievous grin on his before he said, "I'm BOSSexual because o only date people that are BOSS!" Everyone, including me, irrupted into laughter. "But seriously I'm demisexual." He said through giggles. "Well I'm asexual." Tyler said. I turned to mark. "Well I really don't know my sexuality yet, but I know that I like boys, girls, and anything in between." I nodded my head. "Well don't worry about labeling yourself. You do what you do." I told him. He gave me a big smile and a thanks. My heart fluttered at the sight of his beautiful smile. What made it better was that I was the cause of that smile. "Ethan stop it!" I told myself. I didn't want to fall in love again. "Never." "Ethan... Ethan...ETHAN!" I looked up at the person who was yelling. It was mark. "Buddy you ok? You're crying." I touched my face and felt tears. "Oh so I am?" I laughed. I then quickly ran off to the bathroom. "Wait..." I said under my breathe. Am I finally able to use my preferred bathroom or do I have to use the girls? I took a big step towards the girls before making a b line to the boys. When I stepped in, I felt powerful. I was in the boys bathroom. I WAS IN THE BOYS BATHROOM! FINALLY! I quickly washed my face, and went to my locker. When I got there, I saw Mark. "Ethan you ok?" "Yeah." "You sure?" Be put his hand on my shoulder and I tensed. I know he could feel my binder. "Ethan?" He looked at his hand. "Are you...trans?" I don't remember anything else than blacking out.


	7. Mark's P.O.V

A/N: *le gasp* ITS IN MARKIMOOS P.O.V WOW!  
I didn't know what happened. One minute I was asking if he was ok and the next BOOM passed out! I quickly picked him up and rushed him to the nurses office. When I got in there, I noticed she wasn't there. "Shit! I forgot she leaves before lunch!" I put him in the nurses table and put a wet wash cloth on his head. "If he is wearing a binder should I take it off of him? I know you aren't supposed to sleep in one so should I? But then I'll see his breasts and I don't want to be like a pervert. But he needs it off. Fuck it! I'm taking it off of him and I won't look!" I sat him up and took his shirt off. I looked away and took his binder off. I put his shirt back on and laid him back down. I was trying to figure out why he freaked out when I asked. Did something bad happen to him? Is that why he had to leave schools? Is he afraid that I was going to bully him? I had so many questions and little to no answers. I was pulled out of my thoughts by a cough. I turned towards Ethan to see he was sitting up. "You're awake!" I said. "Yeah... um...thanks for bringing me here." He said while looking around the room. He spotted his binder beside me and his eyes widen in fear. "Did you...take my binder off me?" He was shaking a little bit. "Yes, but before you say anything, I knew you aren't supposed to sleep in one and I didn't know how long you would be out. I didn't want you to have chest pains so I took it off you. However I looked away when I did so I didn't see anything." He let out a sigh of relief and looked at me. "Please don't tell anyone I'm trans. Please." He looked terrified. Why did he look so terrified? Who hurt him so bad that made him afraid to be who he is? Who did this to him? Why would someone do that to someone? I then began to cry a little just thinking about what probably happened to him to be terrified of himself. "Mark! Are you ok?" Ethan jumped up and came over to me. He pulled me into a hug in which I returned. "I'm sorry," I said after I had stopped crying. "Mark what's wrong?" Ethan asked while looking at me confused. "It's just that if you are so afraid of people finding out, I started to wonder what made you afraid in the first place. All of the scenarios that I thought of weren't pleasant which made me upset. I mean, you don't deserve to be hurt or anything bad for what you are. I'm sorry I'm rambling." By the end of my little speech he was in tears. "Mark... no one has every cared about me the way you do and we just meet!" He said. "Well what can I say," I said leaning into him. "I don't want anyone to be upset, especially someone who doesn't deserve it." I looked up at him and I stopped breathing. I saw him in a different light now. Even though his face was tear stained he still looked beautiful. Suddenly my heart started beating fast and my palms got sweaty. There were knots in my stomach and my knees were weak. "What's happening?" I asked myself. "Mark?" He questioned, but I kept staring. I didnt notice but I was leaning towards his lips. He started to lean in too, but before our lips could meet the bell rung. I came out of my trance and ran out the door. "Why did I do that?!" I thought angrily. I couldn't kiss him. I JUST MET HIM! But why did it feel like it was right to kiss him. No mark! You just met him and you don't even know if he has a boyfriend or not! But being away from him hurts you. I probably shouldn't have ran out of there. He probably thinks I hate him! Oh god I'm such an idiot! I'm going home. I need to think.


	8. Why Mark?

Ethan's P.O.V of what happened in the last chapter 

I woke up in a semi comfortable place. I looked at where I was and noticed I was in the nurses office. I sat up and coughed a little. I then noticed that mark was in there with me and he turned towards me. "You're awake!" He said. "Yeah... um...thanks for bringing me here." I said while looking around the room. I spotted my binder beside him and I began to panic due to the fear the he actually did take of my binder and not the nurse.. "Did you...take my binder off me?" I was shaking but I  
hoped he didn't notice. "Yes, but before you say anything, I knew you aren't supposed to sleep in one and I didn't know how long you would be out. I didn't want you to have chest pains so I took it off you. However I looked away when I did so I didn't see anything." I let out a sigh of relief and looked at him. "Please don't tell anyone I'm trans. Please." I was terrified. What if someone starts to hurt me like everyone else has? I was watching for what Mark would say when I began to notice that his face changed from a look of concern to sadness"Mark! Are you ok?" I jumped up and went over to him. I pulled him into a hug in which he returned. I hugged him till his crying died down a bit. "I'm sorry," He said after he had stopped crying. "Mark what's wrong?" I asked while looking at him with a look of  confusion. "It's just that if you are so afraid of people finding out, I started to wonder what made you afraid in the first place. All of the scenarios that I thought of weren't pleasant which made me upset. I mean, you don't deserve to be hurt or anything bad for what you are. I'm sorry I'm rambling." By the end of his little speech I was in tears. "Mark... no one has every cared about me the way you do and we just meet!" I said while a few tears slipped from my eyes."Well what can I say," he said leaning into me. "I don't want anyone to be upset, especially someone who doesn't deserve it." I let a few more years slip. Who could someone i just met be kinder to me then my own parents are? It doesn't make sense. Mark then started to loom at me differently. It was like his eyes were staring right into my beaten and battered soul."Mark?" I questioned, but he kept staring. He then began to lean towards my lips. I started to lean in too, but before our lips could meet the bell rung. It was like he suddenly realized what he was doing because he jumped up and ran out the room. I was left there confused, sad, and utterly heart broken. "Did I do something wrong?" I questioned myself. I put on my binder and put on my hoodie. I pulled up the hood and went to math. I was hoping that jack wouldn't talk to me, but god was against me. "Ethan, what's wrong buddy?" I ignored him and put my head on my desk. I heard a ding and I knew that it was jacks phone. "Hey Ethan?" Jack tapped my shoulder. I peaked out my eye to see him. "What happened to mark? He just texted me and said he went home. Did something happen between you too?" I immediately put my head back to where it was and ignored him. I just want to go home.


	9. Marks P.O.V

How could I be so stupid!? Why did I do that to him? He trusts me with probably his biggest secret and what do I fucking do? I try to kiss him and run off. What kind of bitch am I? Why did it feel so right to kiss him? I don't understand why I stopped. I mean, why didn't he pull away? WE LITERALLY JUST MET! And I was already kissing him. Hell I barely knew him! This isn't ok. I needed to talk to him yet at the same time I didn't want to face him. Maybe I could write him a letter? I could ask Jack to give it to him. I went into my room and began my letter to Ethan. I poured all my thoughts into that letter. When I finished it was 2 pages long. I folded the papers and stuck them into my backpack to give to jack tomorrow. I texted jack to ask him if he'd be my messenger. 

Markimoo: hey jack? Can you do me a favor buddy?  
Jackiepoo: sure! What is it?  
Markimoo: can you give Ethan a letter for me?  
Jackiepoo: sure, but why can't you  
Markimoo: something happened between us that shouldn't have. I'm too nervous to face him about it.   
Jackiepoo: is that why he came to class crying?  
My heart stopped. I made him cry. I made him cry. I'm such a monster.  
Markimoo: probably.  
Jackiepoo: oh. Meet me by my locker tomorrow. I want to know what happened before I deliver that letter.  
Markimoo: sure. Bye  
Jackiepoo: bye


	10. Ethan's past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: rape

"So Elizabeth, what do you want to do?" I looked at him. Justin was my boyfriend at the time. He was everything I thought I wanted. Tall, handsome, brave. But really he was an ugly, cowardly monster. "I thought you invited me over to play video games?" I asked. "Well yeah but we could do something else." He used his index finger and traces my arm. I didn't like him touching me. "Um no thanks Justin. I just want to play some video games. I'm kinda tired and I have a lot of homework to do." I made up that excuse. I knew what he really wanted I won't let him have it. "Come on Eliza! Just have a little fun with me." He pleaded. "No justin!" I said. "Elizabeth don't you love me?" "Of course I do." I was naive. "Do you trust me?" "Absolutely." I should have said no. "Then let me make love to you. That's the way I can show you my love." I thought about what he said, but I should save ran. "Justin we're too young. And you save that stuff for marriage." He didn't like that answer. His eyes shifted from soft to stone cold. He grabbed my arm and pinned me to the wall. "Listen here Elizabeth!" He punctuated it with a pull and push of my arm. "I want to fuck you and I'm going to! You can't say no to me! I'm the only person who even gives a damn about you! So either I can fuck you or I'll tell everyone about you're little secret!" I regret telling him I was considering transitioning. I wish I would have slapped him away from me or something. I wish I didn't let him rape me. 

I woke from my nightmare and began to cry. Why did I let that happen? Why didn't I tell someone? It's too late now. That was a year ago. It's hopeless. I'm hopeless. I looked at my clock and it read "6:38." School started at 7 but I don't think I could mentally get through today. Not after the nightmare and what happened yesterday. "Aunt Cas!" I yelled. "Yes?" She yelled back. "Can I stay home?" I asked. I heard her shoes clicking up the stairs. She appeared in front of me in record time. "Are you sick?" She asked checking my forehead for a fever. "No I just don't think I can mentally make it through today." I said. She removed her hand from my head. "Ok you can take a mental healing day today. I have work so behave and call me if anything happens. My number is on the land line." She walked downstairs and resumed preparing to leave. I went back to my bed and went back to sleep.


	11. Jack's P.O.V

I was waiting by my locker waiting to get the letter from Mark. I don't know why I even agreed to be a messenger. However, I really want to know what's going on. How can Mark and Ethan already hate each other? YESTERDAY WAS ETHAN'S FIRST DAY! Jeez. How can so much drama happen in less than 24 hours? Hmm? Brit why is so much happening so quickly? (JACK DONT BREAK THE FOURTH WALL) But seriously why? I mean it's happening so quickly. Soon the story will be over and I don't want to to be. I bet the readers agree. Right? (JACK SHUT UP MARK IS COMING!) oh yeah he is. Mark jogged towards me which the letter in his hand. "Here's the letter." He said. I knew he was hoping that I forgot about him telling me about what happened. "So what happened?" I said nonchalantly. He sighed. "I went to go talk to him when he was crying. I noticed something, but I can't tell you that." I nodded. I wanted to know, but as long as I get the point I won't care. "When I asked him about it he fainted." I was shocked. "I took him to the nurse and she wasn't there so I helped him. Well then he woke up and started crying saying to not tell anyone about the thing I can't tell you about," he explained. "Then I felt really bad and got a bit ...protective. I didn't know what I was doing, but I kissed him." I gasped. Who knew Mark liked Ethan? Oh what should there ship name be? I'll have to talk to Felix about it later. "But," he interrupted my thoughts. "I noticed what I was doing and pulled away. I got so scared so I ran away. I shouldn't have done that stuff. The notes just an apology." I nodded. I pulled him into a hug. "Mark you aren't a bad guy for this. But I still think you should apologize in person soon." He pulled away and nodded. "I'll apologize after lunch maybe." I smiled and he returned it. I walked away while saying bye. The bell was about to ring so I decided to go see Felix. He was talking to PeeJ. PJ had a crush on a guy named Chris and Felix was helping him flirt. I have to admit that PeeJ is not really good at flirting. "Hey guys!" I said while walking up to them. Felix got a huge smile on his face. PeeJ replied with a simple hello. I gave Felix a quick kiss. He laughed and so did PeeJ. "Whatcha got there jack a boi?" Felix asked me. "Just a letter Mark wants me to give to Ethan. Have you seen him?" "Ethan?" PeeJ asked. "Yeah blue hair." I answered. "You mean Elizabeth?" PeeJ said. Felix and I looked at him confused. "No his name is Ethan. I'm pretty sure." Felix stated. "No her name is Elizabeth. And why do you keep calling her him?" "What do you mean he's a girl!?" Felix snapped back. Felix is always protective about people. "She's trans." PeeJ states nonchalantly. Felix stopped talking. I stopped thinking for a second. "Ethan isn't trans!" I said a bit angrily. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with trans people. My cousin is actually trans. I just don't like people who say someone is trans just because they might act a bit to feminine or masculine. "Yes she is!" PeeJ argued back. "How would you even know?" Felix shot back. "Because I went to her old school 5 months ago. Her boyfriend Justin told everyone that she was trans. I was going to talk to him yesterday, but I never got to." PeeJ said. "What the ..." The bell ring interrupting my sentence. PeeJ headed to class while Felix and I starred at each other. We needed to talk to Mark and Ethan.

 

A/N: sorry if I made it seem like PJ is a bad guy. He's not meant to be the bad guy. The real bad guy is coming though.


	12. At home

After aunt Cas had left, I went downstairs to get some breakfast. As I was waking to go get some cereal, I noticed the calendar. Today was the 23rd of October. "Tomorrow's my birthday!" I thought excitedly. I continued my journey to get some cereal. I just grabbed one and put it in a bowl. I ate happily thinking about tomorrow. It would be my 16th birthday! Whoop whoop!! I quickly finished my cereal and headed to the living room. I mindlessly scrolled through television channels until I decided to watch Rick and Morty. I've seen a few episodes before, but not many. After watching at least 5 episodes, I heard the land line ringing. I got up and went to get the phone. "Yellow," I answered. "Hey Ethan!" It was aunt Cas. "How are you?" "I'm fine. What's up Cas?" She took a pause. "Well at one of my book signings today I met someone from your old school." My face paled. "W-who?" I asked. "Well he said not to say his name yet. He wants it to be a surprise." She began to talk to whom ever the person was. "He said that I can tell you that you two were once close. He wants to meet up at the house later. I told him he can swing by now. He'll be over in 15. Love you!" With that she hung up. I was terrified. "What if it was Justin? Please don't let it be him God! Please!" I started to calm down. I was anxiously waiting near the door to see who it was. I jumped as I heard someone knocking on the door. I slowly approached the door. I cautiously grabbed the knob. I hesitantly turned the knob to open the door. As soon as the door opened a Smidge, I was engulfed in a hug. The person then pulled away. It was Dan! "Dan!" I screamed. I pulled him into another hug. Dan and I used to be best friends at my old school. Sadly he moved away the year before I transitioned. "'Ello Ethan!" He said in his most posh accent. "Omg aunt Cas told you?" I smiled happily. "Yup. When I asked if I could see you I accidentally called you Elizabeth, well technically I said E-Beth but same thing. Well then she said, 'Actually it's Ethan now.' And I was like 'Awesome.' So here I am!" He said finishing his story. I hugged him again. "Dude I missed you!" "I missed you too." I started to jump up and down excitedly. "Want to play video games and catch up!?" He looked at me like I was stupid. "Are you kidding me?" He said a but angrily. I looked down because I thought I had said something wrong. "Of course I do!" I then looked up, smiled, and pulled him to my room. Today was going great!


	13. Dan's P.O.V

I was happy to see my best friend again. I hadn't seen him in three years. I had to move back to England due to financial and family issues. I came back to the US for school. I signed up to be and exchange student, and luckily Ms.Cas was near me so I went to see her. I had met her twice on row very different circumstances. One was because I liked her books, and two I asked her how I could get Ethan to date me. I used to have a crush on her-HIM! Anyway, I used to like Ethan before I moved to back England. I no longer have a crush on him for I now have a boyfriend named Phil. Anyway, after I saw Cas I had to see Ethan again. She told me he had transitioned to male and I was surprised. I didn't think he's parents would let him, however Cas had told me he leaved with her. I then got in a taxi to go see him. When I did, I engulfed him in a hug. He tensed so I let go. Once he knew it was me though, he hugged back. We were now in his room playing video games. "So what have you been up to Danny old pal?" Ethan asked. I laughed at the old nick name. "Uh you know school and shit. I have a boyfriend now which is good. Mum and dad still fight, but their getting a divorce soon. Oh, and I'm a exchange student here so we can hang." He smiled at the last sentence. "What about you?" I asked. He's smile faltered. "Well living with aunt Cas is nice. She's not as abusive and controlling like Mom and dad. I had my first day at school yesterday. The bad thing is, I like this guy, but I don't think he likes me. It's so fucking complicated. I literally fell in love with him in like 5 seconds." I laughed a little. "Tell me what happened." I said. "Well I ended up crying at lunch for some reason. Well the guy followed me, and discovered I was wearing a binder. I don't want anyone to know I'm trans at that school. Well then I fainted. He took me to the nurse. This is when things get weird. One thing lead to another and we ended up kissing. Well then he jumped up and ran. I didn't go to school today because I was so upset. It's just weird." I nodded. "Maybe give him a chance to explain. Maybe he's not comfortable with his sexuality and shit. There is probably a reasonable explanation." He nodded. "You're right." After a few more minutes of playing games, I checked my phone. "Hey E-man I got to go. I have to be at my hosts family place now. I'll see you later." I helped him put up his x box before hugging him goodbye. I hope everything goes smoothly between him and that fellow. I kinda ship them. "Oh shoot! I didn't tell Ethan I'm going to his school." I guess I'll surprise him.


	14. Jack and Felix P.O.Vs

Jack  
I was still standing when the late bell rang. Ethan was trans? That's not possible is it? He would tell us that. I mean everyone in our friend group except for two are in the LGBT community. Why wouldn't he tell us? "You think he's telling the truth?" I asked Felix. "I don't know. Maybe? We have to talk to Mark and Ethan as soon as we can." Felix answered. "I'll get Mark to meet me at the park tonight. You get Ethan." Felix stated. I nodded. Since I'm sorta the secretary for the office I can get his info. We then both ran to class.   
Felix  
I couldn't believe there was a trans person at this school. Let alone it being Ethan. I honestly don't care, but this is the first time a trans kid has come to this school. I was honestly afraid for him. I mean Mark, jack, Kat, Amy, Tyler, and I got bullied a lot. I was petrified of what would happen to Ethan. We needed to talk to them. I had a feeling Mark might know. I pulled out my phone while my teacher was droning on.   
PEWDIEPIE: yo Mark. Meet me at the park after school. We gotta talk man.  
MARKIPLIER: why? What about?  
PEWDIEPIE: I can't say just please meet me.  
MARKIPLIER: ok bro.  
We need to figure this out. And soon. I don't want to believe PeeJ but he wouldn't lie about that stuff. And I do believe he talked about a trans boy who got bullied and abused at his school. Oh my god. If what PeeJ says is true then Ethan was abused and bullied. The poor guy. Now we needed answers.


	15. We need to talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw-panic attack

This chapter is long so be prepared! Also tw- panic attack 

 

Jacks P.O.V   
It turns out that Ethan doesn't have a cell phone. All he has listed was a home phone. I decided to ring him anyway because honestly I needed answers. I know I'm probably being inconsiderate, but this is just too much. Plus, Mark has to fix whatever relationship him and Ethan have. I mean I guess we won't like be like "ARE YOU TRANS?!" We could do it subtly. I grabbed my cell phone and called his land line. After four rings, I got an answer. "Hello Ethan Nestor here." "Wow very formal Ethan!" I laughed. I began to hear laughing on the other end too. "Sorry jack! My aunt told me that's how I have to answer the phone just in case her publisher calls." "Who's your aunt?" I asked. "Cassandra Nestor, or Cas Nestor. She wrote a series of books that are really popular." He said nonchalantly. "The Sisterhood and brotherhood Chronicles?" I questioned. "Yeah dude." I began to fan girl a bit. "Dude I love those books!" I heard Ethan laugh. "Then why don't you come meet my aunt." My jaw dropped. "Seriously dude!?" "Yeah!" I squealed. "Awesome! Oh but I was going to ask you something." We both laughed. "Can you meet me at the park after school. It's the one by the high school." I said. "Uh sure. Why?" He asked. "Just want to see ya make sure you're a ok!" I said truthfully. I did want to make sure he was ok. "Ok. I'll see you then." He said before hanging up. I sighed. "I hope this works."   
Mark's P.O.V  
I was history when Felix texted me. I was incredibly nervous. I kept re reading the texts.  
PEWDIEPIE: yo Mark. Meet me at the park after school. We gotta talk man.  
Markimoo : why? What about?  
PEWDIEPIE: I can't say just please meet me.  
Markimoo: ok bro.  
Did I do something wrong?(sir..hehe) I didn't know what this could be about. Was it about what happened between Ethan and I? No, they would respect us and let us figure out unless we wanted them to help. Did something happen? What could have happened? Did someone get hurt? My head was a tornado of panicked thoughts and painful anxiety. I began to hyperventilate. My whole body began to shake. My vision began to get blurred. I couldn't feel anything, and I could hardly hear. I felt a tingle on my hand and looked to see a blur of green. JACK! I clinged to him as if I was falling off the edge and he was a lone branch. I felt him take my hand and press it to his chest. I heard a ringing noise. I couldn't focus. My breathing got worse and I continued hyperventilating. I felt his chest rise and fell and realized what I had to do. I began to copy his breathing pattern. Soon, I could begin to hear again. I heard the mumbles of people who were staring. As well as screams to stop staring from Felix. I focused on Jack's eyes. I then stopped hyperventilating and had steady breathing once again. I was still shaking and crying, but that didn't matter. "Hey Mark, what happened buddy?" Jack said in a soft tone. "I-I panicked a-about t-t-the me-meeting thing a-after sc-sch-school." I said stuttering. Felix sighed and got down to my level. I was currently on the ground in which I don't know why considering I was in my desk when my panic attack happened. "I'm sorry bro. Don't worry about it ok? It's nothing bad. Jack and I just want to talk to you and Ethan ok?" I nodded as I wiped my face with my sleeve. They took me to the nurse to get my medicine for after my panic attacks. Due to the medicine I slept during two periods before I was awoken for lunch. At the lunch table, we talked about our plans this weekend and everything. At one point jack and Felix left which led to us making jokes about them going to go make out. The rest of the day went somewhat smoothly. However, I had to go to the park. I slowly made my way there, my anxiety beginning to kick in.   
Ethan's P.O.V  
After the phone call with Jack, I proceeded to just play video games. I kept checking the time to make sure I left the house at 3:55. Our high school ends at 4 and I knew it would take me a little time to walk there; as well as jack and Felix. I wonder why jack just didn't ask me what he had do while on the phone? Also why with Felix? Well I haven't known them long so I really can't question why they do this. I though to myself as I was playing left for dead 2. As 3:50 rolled around, I started to get ready to meet them. At 3:53, I left my house. As I was walking I saw a familiar face. I don't know him, but he looks so familiar. As I got closer, he looked at me and smiled and waved. "Hey Elizabeth!" He said. My heart sank. My stomach rose to my thought. My lungs completely collapsed. My brain stopped working. I muttered a what towards him. "What? That's you're name Elizabeth. Or Ethan now. Sorry, I'm still getting use to the whole 'guy' thing." "W-who a-a-re you?" I asked. "PeeJ. We used to go to West High together. I was one of the people who didn't bully you." My mind clicked. He was one of three who actually helped me and didn't hurt me. "T-thanks for th-that by the w-way." I stuttered. "No problem Eliza-Ethan. Sorry." I nodded and continued walking. If Pj continues to call me Elizabeth people will start to catch on. I don't want that to happen again. My mind went to a memory that kept coming up. The night Justin raped me. My breathing started to speed up. I did my deep breathing techniques and calmed down slowly. I looked at my watch and saw it was 3:59. I began to jog to the park. I saw it in the distant and slowed down. When I arrived, I saw a concerned Felix, a shocked Mark, and a saddened smiling Jack. "What's up guys?" I said suspicious of what was up. "Hey Ethan! Glad you came!" Jack said. I smiled. Jack and Felix looked at each other before looking at me. "First thing first," (you're freakishly tall) Jack started,"Mark wanted to give this letter to you, but you weren't here today." He walked over to me and handed me said letter. I put it in my pocket to read later. "What else?" I said. "Well today Felix and I were talking to our friend PJ," my breath hitched. "And he said," Felix continued," that you're trans." The whole world stopped. Mark looked at jack and Felix the way I did; in shock. Why would PJ tell them I'm trans? That's not his business! He shouldn't be telling people! I was infuriated and fearful. "Wait how does PJ know?" Mark asked. "We used to go to the same school." I answered.  I looked down so I couldn't see them staring at me. I wanted to run away, but my feet wouldn't move from my spot. I only looked up when I felt hands on my shoulders. I looked up to see Felix, Mark, and Jack smiling at me. "Ethan, we don't like you any less than when we met you. So what if you're trans? You're still a really cool dude who we'd all like to get to know better." Felix said. I began to cry tears of relief. I pulled them into a hug. I pulled away shortly after. "Thanks guys. I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I said honestly. "Don't worry about it buddy!" Jack said. We continued talking before I had to go back home. I began waking my way until I heard fast footsteps behind me. I turned around to see Mark running at me. He slowly came to a stop beside me catching his breathe. "Look Ethan," he began," I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. I just got lost in the moment and crap. I mean sheesh it was your first day! I'm sorry for hurting you. I think you're really cool and I would like to get to know you better. So wanna hang out after school tomorrow?"  
He asked sheepishly. I smiled. "It's a date," I said while hugging him. He then got a cocky smirk. "Well then I shall see you tomorrow my fair prince," he said in a comical English accent as he curtsied. I laughed and playful hit him on the shoulder. We waves goodbye and I made my way home. As I entered the door, aunt Cas was cooking dinner. "Dinner will be ready in 10." She said as I made my way upstairs. I changed into some comfy pjs and headed back downstairs. I told aunt Cas about my day as I ate and so did she. Apparently she isn't going to have a long book signing tomorrow so she will be home for my birthday. I smiled at that. I told her about what happened with everybody and she told me to invite them over for dinner one evening. I also told her about Jack and she gave me an autographed copy of one of her books for him. After dinner, I took off my binder and laid down. I was about to go to sleep when o remembered the letter mark gave me. I got up and went to my jacket. I pulled it out and began to read it. 

Dear Ethan,  
I'm so sorry for everything that has happened so far. I shouldn't have ran away from you. The reason I did was because I was scared. I had just met you and I didn't want to like lead you on or anything. I wish I could redo everything I've done. I wanted to kiss you because I think I like you, but I don't know you well enough. I also don't even know my own sexuality. I'm so sorry for everything. I really want to make it up to you some way. When I figure out how, I'll ask you. I care about you Ethan even if it's only been a day. You are really cool and awesome. I hope you can forgive me and let me make it up to you.  
Sincerely,  Mark.  
I was touched by what he had written. I couldn't wait to go on a date with him tomorrow. Does he know it's my birthday tomorrow? I thought. Even if he doesn't, I'll tell him. I went to sleep that night dreaming of something good; me and my friends. I was content at last. Without the flashbacks and anxiety. I was finally truly happy.


	16. Birthday

Ethan's P.O.V   
I woke up to the sound of my aunt. I opened my eyes to see her holding a store bought birthday cake. She began to sing happy birthday as I got up and smiled. "Thanks aunt Cas!" I said hugging her. She pulled away smiling wide. "What?" I asked. "Look under your pillow." She said. "Aunt Cas I don't believe in the tooth fairy, and I didn't lose any teeth." I said jokingly. She playfully pushed me and laughed. I looked under my pillow to see a IPhone 7! I jumped up and hugged her. She hugged back. "I already installed my number and the schools. You can get social media, but tell me if you do." I smiled and nodded. I knew Jack's number and put it in. I texted him.

Ethan: Hey jack! It's Ethan!  
Jack: Woah you got a phone!  
Ethan: YUP!  
Jack: also happy birthday bro! How old you turning?  
Ethan: thanks and 16.  
Jack: YOU BABY! The rest of us are 17.   
Ethan: I'm just a year younger.  
Jack: shhhh. Babies don't speak XD   
Ethan: whatever man XD . See you at school!  
Jack: See ya baby.  
I laughed at what jack had said and got ready. I headed out the door to get into aunt Cas's car. She handed me the keys. "Really!?" I asked excitedly. My parents never let me drive, yet let me get my permit. I got behind the driver side and start. We made it to the school safely. "I can't see how you aren't late? You drove so slow!" My aunt teased. "At least I didn't speed like a maniac!" I said in defense. She laughed and gave me a hug. "Have a good day!" She said as I got out of the car. As she was heading to the driver side, jack came out of no where and gasped. "YOURE CAS NESTOR!" He said pointing at my aunt. "I sure hope so," my aunt said teasingly. Jack ran up to her and shook her hand. "Hi I'm Jack! I'm one of Ethan's friends and a huge fan of your books!" He looked so excited. My aunt hugged him, and I swear he looked like he was going to faint. She pulled away and got into the car and drove away. Jack just stood there shocked. "You ok?" I asked. "I got a hand shake and a hug. I think I'm gonna faint." I laughed and walked up to him. "Well prepare to faint my friend," I said pulling out the autographed book out of my backpack. When jack saw it, he screamed. "DUDE THIS IS AWESOME!" He screamed hugging me. He pulled away with a pout. "Bro it's your birthday not mine." I just laughed and headed into school. I went to my locker and saw Mark, Felix, Pj, and Dan at my locker. Wait Dan?! I ran to dan and jumped hugged him. He laughed and picked me up and spun me. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ETHAN!" He said while putting me down. "Dude you didn't tell me you were going to this school!" I said high fiving him. "I just forgot to tell you, but I didn't forget you're gift!" He said as he pulled up a wrapped box out of his backpack. I quickly tore off the wrapping paper. I opened the box to see a trans flag. I smiled happily and hugged him. "Thanks man!" I said putting it into my locker. Mark smiled at me and gave me a hug. "Happy birthday!" He said. Felix and PJ then picked me up onto their shoulders and said happy birthday! I was laughing. They put me down and they gave me a group hug. The bell ring and we all went different ways. As I walked into biology, I noticed a familiar face. I instantly paled and quickly sat in my seat. "That can't be him can it? No it can't be! Please God no!" The teacher began to call role. "Aaron" "Here" "Isabel" "Here" "James" "Present" "And finally Justin Smith." I held my breathe. "Here," he said smirking my way. "NO!" Was the last thing I thought before I blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm evil. Deal with it


	17. Why is he here?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW- self harm and panic attacks

TW: mentions of panic attacks, self harm

 

Ethan's P.O.V   
I woke up to someone shaking my shoulder. I looked up to see that it was Tyler. "The bell rang. You need to head to second period." Tyler said as I got up and got my stuff. He helped me pack up my things before I had to run to my next class. I was just about into the door when I saw him. I instantly felt nauseous. I then threw my backpack into the classroom and ran to the bathroom. I made it in time to puke out my guts. I was shaking. I was terrified! Why was he here!? This doesn't make sense! Did he find me? Is he going to...rape me again? My thoughts were racing and so was my heart. My breathing became shallow and quick.  
I was having a panic attack. It felt like something was sitting on my chest. My heart beat was so loud. It was all I could hear. My vision was blurry and slowly turning black. I couldn't feel anything except for the ancient pain of my self harm scars. I was itching to make new cuts. I began to involuntarily scratch at my arms. I couldn't see, breathe, hear, or feel anything except for the pain. I began to feel nauseous. I didn't like this. I felt something on my chest. I didn't know what it was. I began to hit and kick at what was in front of me. I felt them grab my arms. I began to thrash around again. I didn't want them on me. They needed to let me go! I heard silent whispers in my ear. It was barely audible. "Ethan! It's ok! I'm here!" MARK! I launched myself at him. I felt him grab me and hold me. I began to hear his voice. He was saying calming things to me. Slowly my vision came back and my breathing slowed down. I looked at Mark and wrapped him in a hug. "M-Mark!" I screamed and continued to cry. "Ethan what's wrong?" He asked. "H-h-he's h-h-h-here! H-h-he's b-b-back!" I said slightly panicked and scared. "Who Ethan?" He asked. I never told him about Justin. "HIM!" I screamed. He picked me up and took me to the office. They called my aunt and she rushed over to the school. When she got there, Mark put me in her car. When she was about to pull out, I saw him and screamed. Ain't Cas turned to look at me, but my head was tucked into my knees while I cried. I heard the door open and close. I heard mumbling then two doors opening. I felt arms around me, and I saw Mark hugging me. I held onto him again. My aunt gave me a worried look before speeding home. When we got there, she gave me my panic attack medicine, and within 30 panicked minutes I began to get drowsy. Mark took me to my room. He laid me down, but before he left I grabbed his hand. "M-Mark stay. I'm sc-scared." I said. Mark sat by me till I went to sleep. When I woke up, he was still sitting there, but he was asleep. I waited till he awoke. "Ethan, who is him?" Mark asked. That's when I explained to him what happened between Justin and I. When I finished, Mark was furious. He threatened to kill Justin, but I told him not to for fear of my secret coming out. He tried to convince me to tell, but I kept disagreeing. He finally agreed to leave him alone. He stayed with me till night. He said that this weekend we would have our date. I smiled. When he left, I went to see aunt Cas. I explained to her what had happened. She held me close and said that she was going to talk to the school about changing my schedule. I smiled at that. I was worn out and went to my room. I put my phone on the charger. I noticed I had a text from an unknown number. I read it and dropped my phone before running to aunt Cas crying.   
Unknown: The secrets coming out...Elizabeth.


	18. Unknown: The secrets coming out...Elizabeth.

Ethan's P.O.V  
I finally got to sleep around 4 am. My mind kept whirling with worry and fear. I didn't want to go to school, but now I had to. I knew Justin. He was going to blackmail me if I wanted to keep my secret. At 6:50 I got up and got ready for hell. I grabbed my phone. I texted Justin to meet me by the back of the school at 7:10. Aunt Cas reluctantly drove me to school. She was trying to convince me to stay home, but if I did that my secret would be out. While I was walking towards the back of the school, I ran into PJ. He looked angry. He grabbed my by my shoulders and pushed me back some. I tensed and was scared. "Ethan. Please be careful with Justin. He's gotten more sadistic. Whatever he tells you to do, tell me and record it. Together we re going to ruin him. I nodded. I pulled out my phone and started recording. Pj quickly put his number in my phone so I can text him the video. I walked to the  back of the school. When I got there, Justin was there with his venomous smirk. "Oh Elizabeth, you're late." He said while approaching me. "The names Ethan you jackass!" I screamed at him. He grabbed my hoodie and pulled me up to his face. "Don't scream at me you sack of shit!" He spat in my face. I pushed him off of me. "Look Justin!" I said angrily. "I'm not playing this game again! Just tell me what you want! And don't tell." I finished. He chuckled. "You think that's how it works?" He asked getting closer to me. "This is how it's gonna work," he said pinning me up against the brick wall. "You are going to do as I say when I say it. The word no doesn't exist when  speaking to me. If I say jump you say 'how high?'" He got close to my face. I could feel his breathe on my face. "Now jump," he said letting me go. I wasn't playing this game again. "No! We are doing this my way! Just tell me what you want!" I said again. He got angry and painfully grabbed my arm. He squeezed on my arm with his fingernails clawing into my skin. I let out a squeak of fear and pain. "Jump!" He snarled in my ear. "How high?!" I said. He let go and smiled. "Now  that we agree, I need you to come back here during lunch. Alone." He added before leaving. I sat down and curled into myself. I began to cry out of fear, anger, and every other bent up emotion. I heard footsteps coming towards me. I was too tired to even run if it was Justin coming back. "Ethan are you ok?" It was PJ. I looked at him and shook my head. He sat down by me and pulled me into a comforting hug. "I left the old school to get away from my past! Why is it coming back!?" I asked angrily. "I don't know, but I swear to you that I'm going to find out why he came here and I swear we are going to make him regret it." I smiled at that. I pulled out my phone and stopped the video. I showed PJ and he looked pissed. "Im sorry to say, but we are going to have more evidence before we turn him in. I have an idea, but I don't have time to explain it. Meet me in the library during digital media." I nodded. He helped me up and walked me to class. Unfortunately, aunt Cas had to wait till Monday to talk to the office since it was Friday. I only had to be in this class with him only one more time. When I got into the class, he was sitting by my seat. I slowly walked and sat in my seat. "Give me your homework," Justin said. "But you didn't even have I do it!" I said. The teacher had said since he came near the end of a lesson to just not worry about it. The tweet was Monday so it wouldn't be fair for him to take it apparently. "How high?" He hissed. I sighed and gave him my homework. The teacher came by collecting it. "Mr.Daniels, I decided to do the homework. I hope you don't mind." Justin said as he turned in my homework. I was furious. Attacking me physically: ok. Attacking me mentally: I can handle. But ruin my gpa. Unacceptable. I jumped up from my seat. "Mr.Daniels that's my homework! Justin took it from me!" I said. Mr.Daniels began to look at the hand writing. I always mark my i's with one dot on top of another, in case anyone wanted to steal it. Mr.Daniels saw that he frowned. "Justin stay after class.  
Ethan you too." He said putting my name on the homework. "Justin Monday you will take the test with everyone. This will teach you too cheat in my class." He walked away and  
I smirked in victory. Justin grabbed my hair, but luckily someone said something and Mr.Daniels sent Justin to the office. That's when I realized something, I can control him. I'm only giving him power over me. Well not anymore. I swear to any god out there, I will end Justin.


	19. You are not alone

Ethan's P.O.V   
I knew what I had to do. I was going to face my fears. I was going to finally tell the truth. I was coming out. I made a decision after biology. I'm going to be the one to tell the world I'm trans; not Justin. I was going to do it during lunch when everyone was there. As the bell rung, I went to my locker. Mark, Jack, Felix, Amy, Kat, Tyler, Wade, Bob, Dan, and PJ where all there waiting for me. The plan was for them to hide me until I got to the cafeteria where I would make my announcement. I grabbed my trans flag from my locker and put it on like a cape. They huddled around me and made our way to the cafeteria. Once everyone was in and I saw Justin, I broke through them and stood in the table. "Attention! Attention everyone!" Jack yelled. Everyone stopped eating and looked at me. I began to get anxious, but once I saw my friends giving me encouraging smiles, and Justin looking furious, I knew I could do it. "Ethan would like to say something!" Dan said. I smiled and began. "You know me as Ethan. I am  
The boy with the blue hair, but I am more than that. I am more than my body. I am trans." I said confidently. Some people gasped and whispering began. I wasn't done, and I began to panic. Mark saw and screamed,"HE'S NOT DONE!" Soon everyone stopped. I smiled. "You don't know my story. You don't know my past. Some of you know me as Elizabeth Nestor." I glared at Justin. "But that person doesn't exist. I am not that girl anymore. That girl was terrified to be herself. She was never happy. She was raped for being trans." I heard gasping again and mumbles. I continued," I am not Elizabeth Nestor anymore. I am a happy, smiling, confident man named Ethan Nestor." I smiled as I finished. I stood there silently until I heard some people clapping. I saw a girl with brown short hair, a boy with blonde hair, and a boy with purple/ brown hair applauding. (A/N: can you guess who I'm talking about.) Soon, more people started applauding. I began to cry out of happiness. I was so proud. I knew at that moment I could be accepted. However, sweet moments don't last for the one and only asshole himself ruined it. "You people think that is ok!?" Justin yelled. "She is a girl! She's not a boy! She's a lie. A fucking fake! Don't applaud her for being a disgusting piece of shit!" He came towards me. Mark tried to sand in front of me, but I pushed him aside. I was face to face with evil and hate himself. "I've had enough of you!" He said before trying to push me. I the grabbed his arm and pulled it behind him. I held it there. If he moved the wrong way, he would break it. "No! I've had enough Justin! I'm tired of living in fear because of you! I'm tired of having nightmares because of you! IM TIRED OF THE MEMORIES OF YOU RAPING ME WAKE ME UP EACH NIGHT!" Soon the whole cafeteria was silent. I felt someone put a hand on my shoulder. I looked to see a kid I hadn't seen before. "Ethan lets handle this dirt bag!" The boy said. Soon people began to chase Justin. The boy who said that stayed by my side until Justin was being chased by most of the student body. "Thanks," I said. "No problem. By the way, I'm miles. I'm trans too," he said. I smiled and hugged him. I wasn't alone. I turned toward my friends and smiled. They all pulled me into a big hug. Soon the bell rung and everyone who was left, left the lunch room. We parted ways as Mark made his way to me. "So we never got to have our date." He said. I smiled. "Let's have it tomorrow." I said. He smiled at me before pulling me into an empty hallway. "Ethan I'm so proud of you for coming out, and I wanted you to know something." "What is it?" "I figured out my sexuality." I smiled. "Really what is it?" I asked. "I figured out I'm omnisexual," he said smiling. I pulled him into a hug. Soon he pulled away, and kissed me. I was stunned. He smiled again and whispered,"I love you Ethan."


	20. The date PT.1

Ethan's P.O.V  
I woke up around 10 am the morning of Mark and i's date. I was really excited to spend time with him today. We talked last night and he decided to surprise me with what we were going to do. Mark had told me he would pick me up around 12 o'clock and to wear something casual. I decided to go ahead and get ready because I tend to be slow. I quickly got into the shower. As I was washing my hair, I noticed that it was starting to fade a bit. I'd have to get Peggy to dye it again. Oh, and speaking of Peggy, her and aunt Cas are dating. They started dating about a five days ago. I was really happy to hear that aunt Cas was dating again. She lost her first husband to cancer 10 years ago,and that's how she wrote the books. They were her coping mechanism. Many people don't know that except for some of her friends and family. That's another reason why I won't read her books. They remind me of my uncle too much. I only knew him for a short time, but the things I remember about him are always nice. He was a very kind man who would do anything to help anyone. He's one of the reasons I knew I was a boy; because I wanted to be exactly like him when I grew up. As I finished my shower, I noticed that it was already 11:22 am. I dried off and put on some shorts and my binder to go quickly eat some breakfast and take my testosterone. I allied downstairs to see aunt Cas making pancakes. "Yay pancakes!" I said happily. She set down a plate of delicious pancakes in front of me as she sat down. I began to eat my pancakes kinda fast because I loved them so much. "Ethan," aunt Cas said gaining my attention," I have a few rules for you before you go on a date with mark." I nodded understanding that she was worried about me being with a guy after what happened with Justin. "I want you home by 10 o'clock. Make sure to check your food before you eat it. Call me of you start to get anxious and I will get you. And absolutely no being completely alone with him. It's not that I don't trust mark, it's just that I don't want something bad to happen." I nodded at these terms and explained to aunt Cas that she shouldn't worry because mark isn't like Justin. "I know. It's just that you're my nephew son. I have to worry." I laughed at nephew son. She calls me that because I'm like her son. As I finished my food and conversation with aunt Cas, I headed upstairs and saw that it was 11:55. I began to rush and get clothes on. I wore some black ripped skinny jeans, and a long sleeve pastel pink shirt. I quickly put on my blue high tops, when I heard the door bell. I ran down the stairs to answer the door. Aunt Cas was just about to open the door when I stood in front of her. She laughed and sat ok the arm of the couch. I opened the door and saw Mark wearing a white shirt with purple flowers around the shoulders, and khaki pants. "Hello Ms.Nestor," Mark greeted my aunt. She shook his hand and gave him a hug. "I want him back by 10," she stated. Mark said we wouldn't be out too late before grabbing my hand asking me if I was ready to go. I nodded my head, and we left.


	21. Valentine's Day special chapter

Ethan's P.O.V   
BEEP BEEP BEE- I turned of my alarm clock and jumped out of bed. Today was Valentine's Day and Mark said he had some special things planned for today. I was so excited! I got dressed in my pink jumper and some white skinny jeans. I grabbed my present for aunt Cas before heading downstairs. I walked in on her making heart shaped pancakes. "Happy Valentine's Day aunt Cas!" I said hugging her from behind. "Happy Valentine's Day," she said back continuing to make pancakes. I set the table as she put the finished pancakes on a plate. Once she sat down, I gave her her gift. I had given her a journal, some paints, some sketching pencils, some chocolate, a thank you card, a perfume, some new pens, a few white roses with some food coloring, and a long written letter. I knew she liked to make white roses different colors. She unwrapped and gasped in surprise. "Did you get this all for me?" She asked with tears in her eyes. I smiled and nodded. She went around the table and gave me a big hug. "Thank you so much! I love it," she said sitting back down. "But you know you didn't have to get me all this. A simple card would have done." She stated as she began to read the letter. "How could I boy give you these things? You've done so much for me! You took me in, provided me with a binder and testosterone, gave me food, and treated me like your son. This was the least I could do to say thanks." She began to let some tested of joy slip from her eyes. "How did you get the money for this?" She asked. "Well Jack got you the journal and the pens to say thanks for the autographed book and hug. Dan got you the perfume and chocolate to say thanks for letting him come over all the time. Mark got you the paints and pencils to say thanks for letting him take me on dates. And I got you the white roses and food coloring as well as the thank you card to show you how much I appreciate you for what you did." As I finished, her smile was wide. "I'm going to make some cookies for you to give to your friends. Go finish getting ready while I cook." I nodded as I finally finished my pancakes. I ran up stairs to take my testosterone and get my shoes on. I packed my backpack and got the presents for my friends and Mark. I went back downstairs and aunt Cas presented me with a plate full of heart shaped frosted sugar cookies. I smiled. "Alright let's get you to school," she said pushing me towards the door. I was excited to see what Mark had gotten me for today. As we pulled up to the school, I noticed that Jack was waiting there with Felix. I got out the car and Jack made an immediate run to me and my aunt. "Hey Ethan! Hey Ms.Nestor!" He said giving me a hug. "Hello there. Thank you for the gifts," my aunt said to Jack. "It's no problem! I hope you liked them." Jack said a bit shyly. "I loved them," my aunt said causing Jack to blush a bit. "Bye Ethan. Bye Jack." My aunt said driving away. Both Jack and I smiled at her and waved goodbye. "Careful Jack. If you keep your mouth wide open like that you'll catch flies." Jack laughed at my statement before we  started walking back to Felix. "Hey Felix," I said giving him a fist pump. "What's that?" He said referring to my bag and plate of cookies. "Well the cookies are what my aunt made for me to give to my friends and to say thanks for the gifts they gave her. The bag has my Valentine's gifts for you guys." As soon as I said that, Felix and Jack got a cookie. "What'd you get for us?" Felix asked. I dug in my bag and got out their presents. I had gotten Jack my aunts newest attachment to her book series. It's was a book about the history of the place and the full background stories of the characters. I had gotten Felix a frog plushie that looked like his deceased frog Slippy. I gave Jack his present first. I laughed as I heard him squeal and Felix whine. "Wait your turn Felix," Jack joked. Jack quickly unwrapped the present. "A book." Jack said. "Read the title." He flipped the book to the front and read the title. I saw his jaw drop. "THIS ISNT SUPPOSE TO COME OUT UNTIL TWO MONTHS FROM NOW!" Jack screamed. "My aunt wanted to make sure her biggest fan got the first copy." I watched Jack's face turn from shock to a huge smile. "Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" He repeated while giving me a bone crushing huge. When he pulled away, I gave Felix his. He started to unwrap the present then stopped. "Is this..?" He said pulling out the stuffed animal. "I got you a plushie that looked like slippy and sewed his name on his stomach." I said as he looked at the stuffed toad. He looked at me and smiled with a tear in his eye. "Thanks Ethan. I..I love it." He also gave me a bone crushing hug. "I know you were bummed when you found out he died so I got you this as a reminder I him." Felix pulled away and smiled. "Well Jack and I also got you something." Felix said digging through his backpack. I was surprised that they had gotten me something, but was appreciative of whatever they got me. Felix had presented me with a medium sized present. I unwrapped it to find a grey beanie, a blue flower crown, and a light blue hoodie. I smiled at the gifts and gave them a big hug. "I remember you had said something about wanting a new hoodie and beanie. And Felix thought to get you the flower crown to match your pastel attire you wear." I smiled at them and thanked them. The bell rung signaling the school doors were opening. I followed Jack and Felix towards the school. Jack suddenly stopped and nudged Felix. "Oh Ethan can you come with me for a bit?" Felix stated. I looked at him suspiciously before nodding. I followed him as he went toward the auditorium as Jack went the opposite direction. Felix abruptly turned around. "I need you to do two things real quick." I nodded. "first, put on the flower crown," I looked at him quizzically. "It suits your outfit," he stated. I nodded and put it on. "Second thing is I'm going to have to blind fold you." I thought for a bit and nodded my head a bit suspicious. He came behind me and put it on me. He then grabbed my hand and led me to what i assumed to be the auditorium. I heard a door open and guessed we where there. "Ok take off your blind fold in 3....2....1." I took off my blind fold to see the auditorium full of heart shaped balloons, red, pink, and white streamers, rose petals on the ground, and there was some soft music. I followed the rose petals to a dark corner of the the room. Suddenly, the lights turned on and I gasped at what I saw. Mark was standing there, in a tux, with a dozen red roses, a huge ass teddy bear, and I noticed two wrapped presents behind him. Tears sprang to my eyes. "Happy Valentine's Day Ethan," he said putting down the things and walking over to me. I ran up to him and jumped into his arms. "Oh my gosh Mark!" I held him in a hug as he picked me up and spun me around. I giggled. When he put me down, he went to go get the two wrapped presents. One was sorta small and the other one was medium sized. He handed me the medium one first. I opened it to see a scrapbook. I opened the book to see pictures of Mark and I plus ones of our friends. There were letters from Mark in there, letters from our friends, and even some drawings mark had drawn of me. I began to cry. "Oh baby are you ok?" Mark asked concerned. "Y-yeah. I'm just s-so h-happy." He gave me a hug before handing me the last gift. I opened it to see...a dog collar? "I talked to your aunt," Mark started,"and she allowed me to get you...a dog." I immediately looked up at Mark in shock. He had a smirk on his face. "Are you serious?" I asked. He nodded. I jumped back into his arms repeatedly saying thank you. He laughed pulling me away and giving me a kiss. I pulled away and went to get him his present. I handed it to him as he began to open it. I watched as he pulled out the gift. "Oh my...Ethan...Thank you!" i had gotten him a circular locket that can hold 5 pictures. I put a picture of me in there, Felix, Jack, of him, and one of his dad. We hugged one more time before the bell rung to signal class was starting soon. I took my presents, gave Mark a quick kiss, and headed to first period. 

Time skip to lunch

I sat at the lunch table ready to give everyone their valentine's day present. I waited till everyone was there. While waiting for everyone, I noticed Mark had changed into jeans and a t-shirt. I thought nothing of it seeing as walking in a tux all day would be weird. When everyone got there, I  laid out the plate of cookies which everyone gorged on. I first gave Amy and Kat their presents, matching sweaters that had "I'm Hers" with arrows pointing to each other. I gave Tyler an asexual themed beanie which he immediately put on instead of his usual grey one. I got Wade a joke shirt that said "My Friends are JERKS!" He laughed when he saw the shirt and put it on over his shirt. I got Bob a dick joke book. As soon as he read the title, he starting telling us a bunch of dick jokes. I got Peej an art set. He thanked me profusely for it. Finally I gave Dan his gift. I knew he was bummed out that he didn't get to spend Valentine's Day with his boyfriend Phil, so i messaged his boyfriend and we set something up. "Dan," i stated,"you're Valentine's Day present isn't here yet." "Why?" he asked. "Because you're present is coming all the way from England." Dan looked confused. "Why did you get me something from England?'' He asked. Just then Phil messaged me that he was in front of the lunch room. "Actually it's here now." I said getting up. "How did you ship something to the school?!" Dan shouted at me. I exited the lunch room to see Phil. "Hey! So let me text Mark to cover Dan's eyes and we'll go." Phil nodded looking nervous. "Hey, its ok. I know he will be so excited to see you." He smiled then. He pulled out the rose and small teddy bear from his backpack before handing it to me. Mark texted me that he would do that, and I grabbed Phil by the arm. I took him to the table. "Ok Mark, let Dan see his present." Mark moved his hands and Dan's eyes immediately landed on Phil. "Happy Valentine's Day love," Phil said to the gaping mouth Dan. Dan, once his shock died down, got up and ran to hug Phil. They held each other while they both cried. They soon pulled away and shared a long kiss. I smiled as i saw my best friend so happy. Mark tapped on my shoulder and I looked at him. "You sure made him happy. How did you do that?" Mark asked. ''I messaged Phil and we came up with it like 2 weeks ago." Mark nodded. Soon they both joined us at the table. "Oh!" Dan exclaimed. "I have your Valentine's Day present." Soon everyone pulled out gifts of different sizes for everyone. Amy and Kat gave me my present. It was in a bag, so i pulled out the tissue paper to reveal a heart shaped box of chocolates and a picture frame. "So you can put this photo in it," Kat said. She gave me a picture of the day i came out as trans surrounded by my friends. I got up and hugged them both while thanking them for the photo. Next, Tyler gave me wrapped present. I unwrapped it to find a gay pride themed phone case. "Your phone needed a case and I found this one and knew it was perfect." He explained. I got up and hugged him. I rustled his beanie while saying thanks. Next Bob and Wade pulled out presents for me. Wade was about to hand me his, but Bob screamed,"NO ME FIRST!" while shoving his in front of Wade's dramatically. Everyone laughed and Wade just pointed out how the shirt I gave him was true. I opened Bob's gift to see a book called This Book is Gay. "Yeah I saw that book at a bookstore and was like 'Hmmmm...Ethan would like this.'" I laughed and thanked him. I then opened Wade's present to see a conjoined Valentine's Day sweater. "Thought you and Mark would like it." I thanked him and made Mark wear it with me. Peej then gave me his present. I opened it to see a painting of Mark and I. I thanked him, and got up to give him a big hug. Finally, Dan gave me his present. I opened the present to see three things. The first was some men's cologne, the second was a squirrel plush, and finally a video camera. I immediately jumped up and hugged him. "Thank you!" I said. "It's the least i could do. I mean, you helped Phil get here." Suddenly, the lunch bell rung. We all went our different ways. 

Time skip to end of day

Mark met me at the his car to go get a dog. I was so excited. We traveled to a local pet store. I began to look at all the dogs when I spotted beautiful golden retriever. "That's Chica," the employee said. I looked at Mark and he then talked to the employee. I then began to get the things I needed like food, toys, etc. When I got done, Mark had Chica on a leash and we headed out. When we got home, I brought Chica inside but she ran up to aunt Cas due to the fact she had food. I helped Mark bring in the stuff. When we finished making Chica's corner, I gave Mark a kiss to say thank you. I smiled up at Mark. How did I get so luck? "Whatcha lookin at Ethan?" Mark asked. "Just the most perfect boy in the whole world." I said smoothly. I watched marks get slightly red before he laughed. "Trust me," he began," if anyone here is the most perfect boy, it's you." My heart swelled when he said that. A tear slipped out of my eye as I hugged him. "Thank you Mark," I said giving him a kiss in the check. I then led him to my room to watch a movie. When we got up there, he immediately jumped on my bed while I put in a movie. I put in The Notebook, and went to cuddle with Mark. I ended up falling asleep during the movie. I woke up later to Mark spooning me. I just smiled and went back to sleep, dreams of my future with Mark.


	22. The date pt.1 (Mark's P.O.V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my birthday biatches

I woke up at 9 am. I was so excited to go on a date with Ethan. I still couldn't believe the day was here! I'm so happy that I finally got to go on this date. I got my shower as soon as I got up. I then went downstairs to eat a quick breakfast of oatmeal. As I finished, I noticed the time and it was 10:03. I went back to my room to find something to wear. I wanted to wear something really nice today. Ethan didn't know where I was taking him because I wanted to surprise him. I was going to take him to the local fair, then to a local coffee shop for a surprise, the flower shop, and then I was taking him to my dad's grave. I was going to tell him the things I had always wanted to tell him. Hopefully the date would go well and according to plan. When I looked up, I noticed it was 11:20. I quickly got dressed and ran downstairs. I grabbed my wallet and headed off to Ethan's house. I arrived at his house around 11:55. I knocked on the door. When the door opened, I noticed Ethan in a really cute pink jumper and ripped skinny jeans. He looked hot to say the least. I also noticed that his aunt was sitting on the arm of the couch. I greeted her with a "Hello Ms.Nestor." I wanted to be on her good side. She shook my hand and gave me a gentle hug. "I want him back by 10," she stated when she pulled away from the hug. I explained to her that I didn't expect for us to stay out too late. I then asked Ethan if he was ready. He nodded his head and I grabbed his hand. We then left to go to the first place; the fair.


	23. The date pt.2

Ethan's P.O.V  
Mark and I were walking down the street. I was so excited! He was holding my hand as we walked. From the places we were passing I could confirm we were heading to the beach. However, we wouldn't be swimming because the water would be way to cold to swim in. I knew they were having some type of event, but I wasn't sure what it was. "You look really cute when you're deep in thought," Mark randomly said. I blushed a bit and laughed. "That was random." I said. Mark smiled at me. "Well your nose gets all scrunched up and it's soooooooo adorable." I blushed. "You're even cuter when you blush." I playfully hit him in his chest. He let go of my hand and placed it on his chest. He then gasped and fell over onto the grass. I busted out laughing. He then joined in soon enough. He got up and took my hand again. "You're such a drama queen." I said as we continued to walk. "Did you just assume my royal status!" Mark said. "DId yOU JusT ASsumE mY RoYaL STatUs?" I mocked back like the sponge bob chicken meme. We started to laugh again. "Wow how did I get so lucky?" Mark asked. "Oh stop it you doof." I said disregarding what he said. "No I'm being for real. Like, you're this amazing person that I fortunately get to love and hold. It's incredible!" He said smiling wide. "I think I got luckier with you. I mean, you still wanted to date me even when you found out I'm trans. I mean you know the story with Justin. I thought that no one would love m because of being trans, but then I meet you. And you completely destroyed that fear of mine." I looked over at Mark and saw he was staring at me. He smiled at me and captured my lips in a sweet kiss. When we pulled away, we started walking again. We were held in a comfortable silence until we reached the beach which I figured out was where the carnival was. "Yay the carnival!" I said looking around. I looked around and say a lot of rides and games. I was pulled from my thoughts when Mark started to pull me over to a carnival game, and of course it was the "Test your strength" game. "Well someone wants to show off," i said as i watched Mark pick up the comically large mallet. There were 10 levels. They ranged from baby to macho man. Mark picked up the mallet and slammed it into the target. The little meter went up to the 7th level which was buffy. "Alright you're turn," Mark said handing me the mallet. I lined up the target and mallet and brought it down with all my force. It barely went past baby. Mark started to bust out laghing as i chuckled a little. I was kinda let down because i had been working out a lot to get a more masculine build. "Hey ethan," mark said turning me around. "Yeah?" I asked. Mark grabbed my hand and lead me to a booth that had the ring toss. "Mark, you know that these are rigged so you can't win," i said as he gave the guy 3 bucks. "Trust me," he started, "I got this." and he did. He got all three on the same bottle. "Now pick a prize," The carney said. He got a huge stuffed panda and gave it to me. "There you are kind sir," He said in a posh accent. I just laughed. We continued throughout some of the day playing games, eating greasy carnival food, and riding rides. It was around 5 when he decided to take me to yet another mysterious location. 

 

A/N: LOOK AN UPDATE! AND GUESS WHAT! I HAVE ANOTHER THAT WILL BE POSTED TODAY.


	24. The date pt.2 (marks P.O.V)

Ethan and I were walking down the street. I could tell he was excited! I was holding his hand as we walked. I watched as he looked around trying to figure out where we were going. I looked at his face and noticed his nose was scrunched up. It was so cute. "You look really cute when you're deep in thought," I said taking him out of his thoughts. I saw him blush a bit and he laughed. "That was random." He said. I smiled at him. "Well your nose gets all scrunched up and it's soooooooo adorable."I said watching him blush"You're even cuter when you blush." I said as he  playfully hit me in my chest. I let go of his hand and placed it on my chest. I then gasped and fell over onto the grass. He busted out laughing. I then joined in soon enough. I got up and took his hand again. "You're such a drama queen." he said as we continued to walk. "Did you just assume my royal status!" I said offendedly. "DId yOU JusT ASsumE mY RoYaL STatUs?" he mocked back like the spongebob chicken meme. We started to laugh again. "Wow how did I get so lucky?" I asked. "Oh stop it you doof." He said disregarding what i said. "No I'm being for real. Like, you're this amazing person that I fortunately get to love and hold. It's incredible!" I said smiling, meaning every word. "I think I got luckier with you. I mean, you still wanted to date me even when you found out I'm trans. I mean you know the story with Justin. I thought that no one would love m because of being trans, but then I meet you. And you completely destroyed that fear of mine." He looked over at me and saw that I was staring at him.I hated that he had to go through what he did. It wasn't far to such a sweet and amazing guy.  I smiled at him and captured his lips in a sweet kiss. When we pulled away, we started walking again. We were held in a comfortable silence until we reached the beach which he  figured out was where the carnival was. "Yay the carnival!" he said looking around. God he was so adorable. I looked around and say a lot of rides and games until i saw the test your strength game.I decided that would be the first game we played. I started to pull him over to the carnival game. "Well someone wants to show off," he said as i picked up the comically large mallet. There were 10 levels. They ranged from baby to macho man. I picked up the mallet and slammed it into the target. The little meter went up to the 7th level which was buffy. "Alright you're turn," I said handing Ethan the mallet. He lined up the target and mallet and brought it down with all his force. It barely went past baby. I started to bust out laughing as he chuckled a little. I started to look around for more games to play. That's when i noticed the ring toss. Those games were rigged and I wasn't going to go to it, until i noticed the carney playing and winning. I watched him and saw he was throwing them to the 3rd bottle on the left. I then decided that i was going to win Ethan that large Panda. "Hey ethan," I said turning him around. "Yeah?" he asked. I grabbed his hand and lead him to a booth that had the ring toss. "Mark, you know that these are rigged so you can't win," he said as I gave the guy 3 bucks. "Trust me," I stated, "I got this." and I did. I got all three on the same bottle. "Now pick a prize," The carney said a little angrily i might add. I got the huge stuffed panda and gave it to him. "There you are kind sir," I said in a posh accent. He just laughed. We continued throughout some of the day playing games, eating greasy carnival food, and riding rides. It was around 5 when I decided to take him to the next place, the coffee shop.


	25. The date pt.3

We were on our way to the coffee shop when I saw the coffee shop. I spotted Dan and Phil with Jack and Felix. I also spotted Kat and Amy with Tyler, Bob, Pj, and Wade. There was also Ethan’s new friend Miles. I also noticed a few of my other peers there, like Thomas, Dodie, Tyler O, Shane with his boyfriend and friends, and a bunch more I couldn’t name. I suddenly got extremely nervous. I knew that this coffee shop was a fairly popular, but not this popular! I was already nervous to sing in front of Ethan, but now in front of most of the student body!? “Hey Mark,” Ethan interrupted my thoughts. “Yeah?” I asked. “Are you ok? We don’t have to be here if you don’t like crowds.” “If only i could leave.” “No it’s fine. Let’s go see the squad.” I said leading Ethan to them. “Hey guys!” I said stopping Ethan from saying anything about leaving. We got a chorus of Hey’s and hi’s back. “What are you guys doing here?” I asked hoping they wouldn’t know i was singing. “Oh apparently they are having a very popular singer tonight. It was on their instagram.” Amy said pulling out her phone showing me the post. It read: “Come to the Expresso Train tonight to watch an amazing performance from the up and coming artist from local high school “Youtube High School.” Come out tonight to see who it is for yourself!” I was glad they didn’t say my name, but I was still confused as to why all these people showed up. “So why is most of the school here?” I asked. “Because everyone wants to see who it is. No one has heard anything about who it could be and everyone wants to know.” Dan said. My mouth went dry. “Seriously?” I asked. Dan nodded. “I’m excited!” I heard Ethan say. I smiled. I mentally prepared myself for what was going to happen in a few hours. “Hey I’ll be right back. Gotta go to the bathroom.” I said while walking away. However, I didn’t miss Ethan’s comment which was,”This is what happens when you chug a 72 oz slush!” I laughed and headed to the manager, Blake. I saw blake near the coffee bar talking to a blonde headed girl. “Hey blake,” I said grabbing his attention. He turned around and smiled at me. “Hey Marky! You ready for sound check?” I shook my head. “What’s wrong?” He said dropping his smile and wrapping an arm around me. “Why did you make that post?” I heard Blake sigh before walking back over to the bar. “Because Mark, I thought you deserved a bigger crowd then the regular 5 people. But Bell over here posted it everywhere instead of just the Facebook page. I didn’t mean for so many people to show up. I know how much you hate big crowds. I’m terribly sorry.” I sighed and looked at Blake. “It’s fine Blake. But I don’t want to do sound check. I’ll just go up and perform when it's time.” Blake nodded understandingly before grabbing Bell’s hand. “Ok. Well we are going to do a sound check. Go get you a free coffee and such. Take whatever you want as an apology for what happened. I’ll come to get you when it’s time.” I nodded and watched him drag Bell to do a sound check. I went behind the counter and got a coffee for all my friends. I walked back out with the coffees in my hands. Once they saw me with coffee, they ran to get theirs. “How much do I owe you?” Tyler said pulling out his wallet. “Nothing, It was free.” Everyone’s mouth dropped. “How?” Kat asked. “I know the manager.” That wasn’t a whole lie. I did know Blake. Blake was the person who got me to start performing when he heard me singing to myself. We then all went inside and found our seats. Luckily, the coffee shop was huge. I was talking to Ethan when Blake came up. I’m guessing he was planning on doing something mischievous because he had that look in his eyes. “Hey mark, the sound guy left so can you come and work the booth?’ I see what he was doing, making it a surprise. “Sure,” i said following him. “Alright everything is setup, and your guitar is behind the stage.” I nodded as i followed him. I went behind stage to grab my guitar when I saw Bell. She wished me good luck as she went to go work the sound system. I tuned my guitar and sang a few scales. “You ready?” Blake asked. “As I’ll ever be.” With that Blake went out to the stage. I watched through the crack of the curtain Blake introducing me. “Guys, gals, and nonbinary pals! I present to you our up and coming superstar…” Blake then left the mic and opened the curtain.


	26. The date pt.3 (Ethan's P.O.V)

Ethan's P.O.V   
When the curtain, my eyes immediately landed on... MARK?! My jaw dropped and eyes bulged out. His eyes landed on me and he smiled. "Did you know Mark was doing this?" Amy asked. I shook my head. "Uh good afternoon everyone. My name is Mark and I'm going to be performing a few songs." A few people started to applaud in encouragement. "This first song I'm singing is dedicated to my boyfriend Ethan." When he said that people turned toward me while clapping. I blushed and focused my attention on Mark. He started to strum the beginning and the people automatically got quiet.

When your legs don't work like they used to before  
And I can't sweep you off of your feet  
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love  
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks  
And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70  
And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23  
And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways  
Maybe just the touch of a hand  
Oh me I fall in love with you every single day  
And I just wanna tell you I am  
So honey now  
Take me into your loving arms  
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars  
Place your head on my beating heart  
I'm thinking out loud  
Maybe we found love right where we are  
When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades  
And the crowds don't remember my name  
When my hands don't play the strings the same way, mm  
I know you will still love me the same  
'Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it's evergreen  
Baby your smile's forever in my mind and memory  
I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways  
Maybe it's all part of a plan  
I'll just keep on making the same mistakes  
Hoping that you'll understand  
But baby now  
Take me into your loving arms  
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars  
Place your head on my beating heart  
I'm thinking out loud  
That maybe we found love right where we are, oh  
So baby now  
Take me into your loving arms  
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars  
Oh darling, place your head on my beating heart  
I'm thinking out loud  
That maybe we found love right where we are  
Oh maybe we found love right where we are  
And we found love right where we are   
When he strummed the last cord, I was the first one to stand up and applaud. I was crying a little. I couldn't believe he'd have the courage to stand up in front of everyone and sing a love song for me. I watched as more people stood and clapped. I heard Ryland say to his boyfriend Shane,"Why don't you dedicate a song to me?" I laughed. I felt someone nudge my shoulder and I looked to see dan smiling at me and made a gesture as to say "go to him," so I did. I ran up to the stage and hugged Mark. I held him tight and he returned the hug just as tight. The crowd wasn't there anymore in my head. It was just me and mark. We pulled away from the hug and kissed me in front of everyone. When we pulled away, I was back to reality and heard the crowd scream. I also heard our Tyler scream "GO GET SOME MARK!" And it made both of us laugh. I went back to my seat and mark soon continued to sing. He sang about 5 more songs and then his show was done. Once again the owner appeared on stage next to Mark. "Let's hear it on more time for Mark!" The crowds continued to cheer as he exited the stage. I excused myself from my friends to go meet Mark. When I meet up with Mark, the first thing I did was hug him. He then picked me up and spun me in his arms. When he put me down, I saw the huge smile on his face. It was beautiful. "Did you enjoy it?" Mark asked. I gave him my "are you stupid?" look. "Of course I did you doof. You're an incredible singer, and it was so sweet of you to dedicating a song to me." He smiled and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "I'm glad you liked it." He said walking out to say goodbye to our friends. When we were walking to meet them, Mark kept getting compliments on his singing and congratulations. It as sweet to see so many people supporting him, but I could see he was getting uncomfortable with all the attention. I grabbed his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He gave a small smiled and we continued on our way to our friends. When our friends saw Mark, they gave him hugs and congratulations. I could see how proud of him they were. I was proud of him too. I started to listen to the conversation. They were discussing going to go get something to eat when Mark said,"Actually we can't. I still have somewhere to take Ethan." "You do?" I ask. He nodded. We then left our friends to go to the last place which I didn't know where that was, but either way I was excited to spend more time with Mark. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that this chapter sucks. But this story is coming to an end. There's only two chapters left plus the epilogue.


	27. The date pt.4 (Ethan’s P.O.V)

We said goodbye to our friends before we left hand in hand to the next place. I was so happy that this date was going well so far. "Hey, Mark," "Yeah?" "You think this time I could get a hint to where we're going?" I asked. Mark chuckled a bit before answering, "We are going someplace personal, but before that, we have to go get somethings." "Mark I swear to god I'm not having sex with you." When I said that, Mark busted out laughing. I soon joined is because his laugh is very contagious. And beautiful but that's not the point. "Ethan, I'm not gonna fuck you because I know you're very uncomfortable with the fucking." He explained. "With the sex times," I joked back. "With the frickle frackle in the sheets." I once again busted out laughing. We continued to joke around until we arrived at a flower shop. "What are we doing here?" I asked. I knew we were heading somewhere "personal" after this, but what place is he taking me to that involves flowers? "I need to pick up some. Wanna help?" I nodded and started to look around. I kept looking around until my eyes landed on a beautiful marigold, Rose, and daisy boutique. There were some gorgeous yellow and orange marigolds paired with some orange roses with some white Daisy's scattered in. I grabbed them and brought them to Mark. "What about these?" I asked. He looked at them and smiled. "Those are perfect," he said going to check them out. Once purchased, we continued on our way till we can up to a... graveyard. We started to walk through when we stopped at a grave near the back. "I realized that we don't know a lot about each other, Ethan. I know your story, but I haven't been so open about mine. So, I want to tell you about it. Growing up, my mother father fought a lot around my brother and I. They never would physically fight, but they would argue and yell. Thomas and I could tell that they weren't happy together. Soon, they got a divorce. I wasn't sad about the divorce, I was sad that my father caved in. He got remarried to a girl named Dee. I like her because she gave me a PlayStation, and because she makes my dad very happy. But two years ago, my dad was diagnosed with advanced stage cancer. Last year, he died at home. It didn't make sense to me why he had to die. It wasn't fair. He was so happy, and I didn't understand why any higher power would do this. I struggled with understanding why this happened to him, and I still am, it got so bad that I ended up falling into a deep depression. I didn't eat, or sleep, or do anything really. I was like a mindless zombie walking around. I ended up talking to the school consular after Tyler talked me into it. After a while, I got out of that deep depression, but sometimes I slip back into it because I still have yet to handle the fact that my dad is really gone. Ethan, I know that the past years haven't been great for you, but I want you to know that you're really not alone. So Ethan I want to ask you something. Ethan, will you be my boyfriend?" My heart skipped a beat. I smiled wide at him and nodded. He smiled and pulled me into a kiss. "Mark, I'm so glad I met you," I admitted. He smiled and responded," I'm glad I met you too." We interlocked hands as he walked me home. When we got there, Aunt Cas was sitting on the porch typing on her computer. When she noticed us, she smiled and said hello. Mark gave me a peck on the cheek before going home. I told aunt Cas what happened today and she fangirled with me. I didn't know how tired I was until I fell asleep talking to aunt Cas. The next morning, I woke up to Mark and Jack texting me.

Jackspedicey: SO YOU AND MARK ARE DATING NOW! CONGRATS MAN!!  
Jackspedicey: So imma guess the date when really well then.  
Jackspedicey: DUDE WE CAN HAVE LIKE DOUBLE DATES AND SHIT NOW!  
I laughed at his texts and texted him back. 

Ethan: omg jack   
I then read the texts from Mark.

Markimoo: don't freak out but I told Jack. I hope that's ok.  
Markimoo: he shouldn't tell anyone unless he gets the ok from you.   
Markimoo: anyway, I guess good morning! Sorry to wake you up at 9 on a Sunday.  
Ethan: good morning. And it's fine. I think Jack is more excited that we're dating than we are.  
Markimoo: I think he's been shopping us since the beginning.  
Ethan: tru  
Markimoo: anyway, I gtg. I'm heading to work out so ttyl.   
Ethan: ttyl


	28. Epilogue

10 years later 

Ethan's P.O.V   
I woke up to the sound of my alarm blaring. I hit the snooze button and flipped on my side. I looked at the man beside me and smiled. "Good morning Mark," I said waking him up. He groggily got up and smiled back at me. "Morning Ethan," he said kissing me. We then both got up and went to the kitchen. After Mark graduated high school, he went to college to become a biomedical engineer before he dropped out. We ended up taking a break when e went to college since I was still in high school. After I graduated, Mark and I bought an apartment together. After moving, we started to save up for me to get top surgery. Aunt Cas ended up paying for it after making a sequel to her series. I was interrupted from my thoughts when I heard barking. Chica ran out of the living room to greet mark and I. She jumped up on mark as he began to pet her. I went into the kitchen and made us some coffee. Mark and I's loves have definitely flipped since high school. Considering we and all of our friends are now popular youtubers. It's really odd. We all still keep in touch, and some of them even tried to help us out with me getting surgery. Mark quietly entered the kitchen and wrapped his arms around me. "Wanna have a lazy day today?" Mark asked as he took the cup of coffee I handed him. "Sure." With that, we sat on the couch and started to watch tv. If it weren't for me meeting mark, I don't know where I would be right now. I wouldn't be as happy if I didn't have Mark. I'm so glad I met him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: so this is the end. I just want to say thank you for everyone who has commented, gave kudos, and read my story. It seriously means the world to me. I can't believe I've actually been working on this story for a year! Anyway, have a great day and stay alive.I hope you liked the ending.


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